Welcome to Middle Age - Your Most Empowered Life Stage Yet

13 Sept

When I was younger, I tried to control everything. It was exhausting.

I spent a lot of time doing things that people expected me to do. My goals weren’t my own – they were someone else’s version of success. I ended up frustrated.

Do you relate to that?

We’re conditioned to go to school, pass our exams, go to uni, get a job, get married, have kids…

But where’s the space for creativity and doing what you feel is right?

We're conditioned to put everybody else first.

But the most important person in your life should be you.

I believe in loving yourself first.

If you don't love yourself, how are you open to other people loving you, and how can you love them?

For me, things changed in my 40s.

When my kids got older, I had time to reflect – the freedom of time.

I was no longer restricted by archetypal duties and roles I was supposed to take.

Motherhood is a rite of passage, but it’s tough.

I was devastated when my daughter left home, but that moved me onto a new stage in life where I could think about myself and what I wanted.

There is freedom beyond motherhood.

When your kids get older and leave the nest, it’s time to consider:

Who am I?
What do I want?

There are always opportunities to grow. I learned that from Maureen, an absolutely brilliant 78-year-old lady I met on a course.

“You never stop learning darling,” she said. “You just keep going.”

But forging ahead and achieving your goals involves putting boundaries in place.

Another big part is learning to say no.

For a long time, I didn’t say no, and my life was out of balance.

A lot of women’s lives are out of balance, because they put other people's needs before their own.

It’s about finding the balance where you can give and receive.

I was bad at receiving. Even now, I have to remind myself that I can accept help. It’s a work in progress. And don’t forget that your spirit guides are there to help you.